Trump border czar Homan held at Guantanamo
Attorney General Malik Jackson confirmed today at a press briefing that former Trump border czar Tom Homan was being held in the prison complex at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. “Mr. Homan…
Congress mulls bill to ban pedophiles from presidency
Lawmakers in both chambers of Congress are showing interest in passing a bill that would ban pedophiles from becoming president. The bill, still in its early stages, appears to have…
Every state will have automatic voter registration
With automatic voter registration, interacting with government agencies like DMV automatically registers eligible voters. 24 states and District of Columbia already had this. Now all 50 states will have it.…
Protecting your right to film police
You have the right to film police. President Hawke’s recent executive order declares that any police action that interferes with your recording of their activities will be treated as police…
Deportees to be repatriated and compensated
The Hawke administration is busy locating those whom Trump and ICE illegally deported, returning them to the U.S., and compensating them and their families for their mistreatment. Compensation will be…
Trump administration as prison-orange garden gnomes
The hottest sellers in garden centers these days? Former Trump administration officials as garden gnomes dressed in prison orange. Robert Linz, CEO of Silvay Garden Centers, described the craze. “An…
Presidential executive order bans private prisons
President Hawke’s executive order to ban private prisons means a major overhaul for the U.S. prison system. Prisoners currently held in private prisons will either be released or relocated. Companies…
Search for Ted Cruz is expanding
Attorney General Malik Jackson said today that the U.S. Marshals Service is expanding its search for Ted Cruz to include Central and South America. The combined efforts of the U.S.…
Killer of ICE director still at large
Months after the shooting death of Acting ICE Director Viktor Sidorov, police appear no closer to finding the gunman. Sidorov had traveled to Miami, Florida to coordinate ICE activities with…
PTSD outbreak in Secret Service
The Presidential Protection Division of the Secret Service is experiencing a high incidence of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). According to Stanford Professor of Psychology Anthony Sobell, the reason is no…